Posted in Poetry

Don’t Talk to me About Life

I look back with nostalgia
To when fibromyalgia
Was merely a good score in Scrabble
When getting up from my chair
Did not make me swear
And I could keep docs away with an apple. 

When at night I could sleep
Pain would not make me weep
And I could stand for a while without crying
When I still had the power
Each day to shower
And not feel as if I were dying 

But times they have changed
And it still feels quite strange
To use a stout stick when I walk
To now not be able
To sit long at a table
Or call up a friend for a talk. 

My life’s getting smaller
You don’t need a scholar
To tell you I’m fed up and weary
It hurts to get crafty
And I feel like a daftie
When life gets me sad and get teary. 

I know things could be worse
But life feels like a curse
Like I did something bad in lives previous
I’ve racked up some bad karma
When I cursed out Big Pharma
And now taking my meds is quite tedious. 

The future seems dark
There is no vital spark
To let me see naught but more pain.
So, I’ll get up tomorrow
Try to tamp down my sorrow
And do it all over again 

and again and again and again…

Posted in Blog Posts, fibro

It will grow

Whenever a woman does something drastic to her hair, there’s a reason. Here’s mine.

I’ve been feeling much worse than usual over the past few months. Been so dry of mouth and eye, utterly exhausted, even by my standards, and oh, the pain. I hadn’t seen a doc since before Covid so booked a telephone consultation a couple of months back. The doc was lovely, very sympathetic, and thought it was high time I had my blood rechecked.

My first appointment had to be rescheduled because of the side effects I suffered after my Covid jag so it was last week before I saw the nurse who took an armful. No, really: 6 vials of the red stuff! I got a call from the surgery on Monday morning asking me to book a repeat for one of the tests as one of the levels was a bit high. I checked what my result was against the norm and really, I wasn’t overly worried. Then I got another call on Tuesday morn saying the doc wanted to talk to me later that afternoon about the last result to come in. If you thought I panicked, you’d be right.

Continue reading “It will grow”
Posted in Blog Posts, fibro

(Dis)Ableism

Most of you will know I have fibromyalgia/cfs. I also have osteoarthritis, IBS, loads of allergies, chronic widespread tendonitis, bursitis… I’m in pain somewhere every day. I’m not fishing for sympathy, it’s just the way it is. 

I recently underwent a reassessment for my entitlement to PIP and this time they accepted how difficult I find…everything, but especially standing and walking. I can’t stand for more than twenty seconds without my back screaming at me and my hips make walking very difficult. And when my arms/shoulder/hands are flaring, which is often, using my walking stick or walker causes more problems than they solve. 

Continue reading “(Dis)Ableism”