Mummy, there’s monsters! They’re under the bed! They wake up at night and they creep. Darling, these monsters are all in your head. Now be a good girl, go to sleep. But mummy, those monsters ARE under the bed. They have eyes that glow green in the dark. Those monsters just live in the book that you read. Go to sleep or tomorrow, no park! Oh mummy, I hear them move under my bed. They snuffle and whistle and tap. My baby, that’s just the wind that you hear, making your checked curtains flap. Mummy, I feel them! They pull at my sheets, and I wake up shivering and cold. My love, that’s enough now, I’ve tucked you in tight. Go to sleep, dear, please do as you’re told. They stink, mum! I smell them! They whiff and they reek. They smell like old pizza and eggs. I think that’s the cheese that you ate before bed, so lie down, love, stop moving your legs. But what if they come out from under my bed, and gobble me up where I lie? My love, if they come out from under your bed with their glowing green eyes and their creeping and snuffling and whistling and tapping and pulling and reeking – Why, darling, you surely would die!