I love my mum. She is in a care home now, but I’m sharing someof the fun we had when she lived more independently. She is a genuinely lovely person and always made us laugh. She would be over the moon if she knew you were here reading about her. Read on and know that she’s be laughing with you.

Luther

In the car, taking mum to Tesco (where else?) and running out of things to tell her. She watches a LOT of TV, so... Me: Did you watch Luther last night? Mum: What? Me: Luther. Mum: What? Me: (louder) Luther. Mum: What? Me: (louder) Luther. Mum: Flipper? No, I didn't...

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I’ll pay for it.

Me: What's that noise? Mum: It's just the trough falling out the car. Me: The what now? Mum: The trough. Me: The trough? There's no trough in the car. Mum: The...trow. Me: Trow? Do you mean trowel? Mum: ... Me: Do you mean the windscreen scraper? Mum: is that what you...

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Merry Christmas, Mum

Even before I left, I knew doing the Christmas shopping with my mum wasn’t a good idea. I was proven right. First, we went to Lidl. “What’s that?” “A jigsaw.” “Oh. That’s nice. What’s that?” “A calligraphy set.” “….” “A fancy pen.” “Oh. What’s that? That’s lovely,...

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I thought it was drab.

  Me: Did you like the Olympic opening ceremony? Mum: I'm undecided. Me: Really? Why's that? Mum: I thought it was awfully...drab. And it spent too long dwelling on the war. I lived through it, you know. Me: But the war was only a remembrance of those who died and it...

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No one expects…

Another Tesco trip, this time with my daughter as well as mum. Mum: So, will you remember to order one of they nighties from Markies for me? Me: Yes, Mum. I'll do it tonight. Mum: I've got loads of pyjamas, but I don't like them as much. I don't like feeling anything...

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Open Windows

We're coming home from Tesco. Mum: I'm too hot. Me: Why don't you open the window then? Mum: I don't know how. Me: (encouragingly) Yes you do! You remember. Mum: (thinks) Oh, aye! (makes a grab for a handle) Me: NOOOOOOOOO! That's the door handle! The windows are...

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Debate

Me: Your granddaughter is going to parliament to watch a debating competition. Mum: Where? Me: Parliament. Mum: London? (smiling) Me: No, Edinburgh. Mum: (frowns) Ah widnae go to Edinburgh just now. Me: Why not? Mum: 'Cos of that Legionnaires disease. Me: It's not...

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Heinz Cream Crackers

Me: Mum, do you need anything in this aisle? Mum: No, I've got plenty of biscuits. Me: This is the soup aisle. Mum: No. Unless they have Scotch Broth. Is that the one I like? Me: *mutters and throws cans into...

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Check Mate

[tweetmeme source="nettiewriter" http://www.URL.com] We were wandering through the Homeware section of Tesco when we came across some ornaments in the form of chess pieces. Mum: That's nice. What is it? Me: A queen. Mum: A queen? (she picks it up) A QUEEN? Me: Yes,...

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Arthur Miller’s Turning In His Grave

[tweetmeme source="nettiewriter" http://www.URL.com] Another Tuesday, another tesco day with mum. Mum: Are you getting anything in Tesco today? Me: Yes, a few things. I need tea, bread, rolls...and if Claire had her way I'd be bringing home a pony. Mum: Phoney? Me:...

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Don’t Panic!

[tweetmeme source="nettiewriter" http://www.URL.com] Mum: I phoned the doctor today and it was shut 'cos there's some sort of big emergency. Me: Mum, it's Saturday. The doctor is never open on a Saturday. Mum: Yes, it is. And they said there was a big emergency and...

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Knit one, print one…

[tweetmeme source="nettiewriter" http://www.URL.com] Mum asked me to find a knitting pattern for her as she has a lot of yarn in the cupboard. I had a look online and found a great site here where I found some I thought she'd like. Me: Ok, mum, I've found a couple and...

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