Glasgow Style

 

copyright Annette S Thomson 2011‘Hello there, doll,’ he says.

‘Hi,’ she says, smiling.

‘Mind if I sit here?’ He points to the barstool beside her.

She sighs. ‘If you want to.’

‘You’re no from around here, are you?’

‘How observant.’ She attracts the barman’s eye.

‘Ah’ll get that for you, love.’

‘I can pay for my own drinks.’

‘Come on, that’s how we treat a lady here, Glasgow style.’

She hesitates. ‘Thank you.’

‘Cheers, darlin’.’

‘Chin-chin.’ She sips her drink and places the glass on the bar.

‘What brings a lady like you to Glasgow? Business?’ He leers. ‘Pleasure?’

‘A bit of both,’ she says, pulling back from him.

‘And which of those are you taking care of tonight?’ He places a hand on her knee.

‘That very much depends on who is asking and how much he is willing to pay.’

He leans in and squeezes her knee. ‘What if it was me asking? How much would I have to pay?’

She appraises him. ‘More than you could afford, sweetie.’

He bristles. ‘I don’t know about where you come from, but up here we don’t judge a book by its cover.’

She fingers his frayed cuff. ‘Glasgow style?’

He entwines his fingers in hers. ‘You’d better believe it, doll.’

She whispers in his ear, he nods and they leave together. He leads her to an alley and moves in to kiss her. She pulls back, palm outstretched. He counts out notes from his wallet and she slips the money into her pocket.

‘Shall I give it to you now?’ she asks, her hand on his belt.

‘Aye, doll. Ah’m ready when you are.’

She smiles before bringing her head down fast and hard on his nose.

‘There’s your kiss,’ she shouts running out the alley. ‘Glasgow style.’

 

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48 Comments

  1. Abi Burlingham
    Aug 3, 2012

    Hee hee! I think I’d have been tempted to bite it… his nose, obviously ;o) Lovely bit of flash fiction, Nettie!

  2. Abi Burlingham
    Aug 3, 2012

    Hee hee! I think I’d have been tempted to bite it… his nose, obviously ;o) Lovely bit of flash fiction, Nettie!

  3. yearzerowriters
    Aug 3, 2012

    loved the pay (kiss?) off, Glasgow style indeed. Was going to suggest that in the alleyway would have equated to about a 2-star hotel in Glasgee!

    marc nash

    • interdec
      Aug 14, 2012

      As an ex Glaswegian, if it’s possible to be “ex” of anywhere, I’m always fascinated as to why some people, primarily those with an English accent, sometimes refer to Glasgow as “Glasgee”. I have certainly never heard any Glaswegian pronounce glasgow as “Glasgee”, and I’d say the correct colloquial pronunciation would be written “Glesga”

      • Annette
        Aug 14, 2012

        You are, unequivocally, pure dead right, man!

    • Annette
      Aug 14, 2012

      How very dare you, Sir! It would equate to no more than one star – unless the alley had an old mattress lying around…

  4. yearzerowriters
    Aug 3, 2012

    loved the pay (kiss?) off, Glasgow style indeed. Was going to suggest that in the alleyway would have equated to about a 2-star hotel in Glasgee!

    marc nash

    • interdec
      Aug 14, 2012

      As an ex Glaswegian, if it’s possible to be “ex” of anywhere, I’m always fascinated as to why some people, primarily those with an English accent, sometimes refer to Glasgow as “Glasgee”. I have certainly never heard any Glaswegian pronounce glasgow as “Glasgee”, and I’d say the correct colloquial pronunciation would be written “Glesga”

      • Annette
        Aug 14, 2012

        You are, unequivocally, pure dead right, man!

    • Annette
      Aug 14, 2012

      How very dare you, Sir! It would equate to no more than one star – unless the alley had an old mattress lying around…

  5. tom Gillespie
    Aug 3, 2012

    Har har.. loved it.. Glasgow style..

    • Annette
      Aug 14, 2012

      See me? See Glesga? Ah pure love it, so ah dae
      ~;0)

  6. tom Gillespie
    Aug 3, 2012

    Har har.. loved it.. Glasgow style..

    • Annette
      Aug 14, 2012

      See me? See Glesga? Ah pure love it, so ah dae
      ~;0)

  7. Margot Kinberg
    Aug 3, 2012

    Nettie – Oh, this is fabulous!! I love that ending!

  8. Margot Kinberg
    Aug 3, 2012

    Nettie – Oh, this is fabulous!! I love that ending!

  9. Bop ’em right 😀

  10. Bop ’em right 😀

  11. Yaaaay – a Glasgow Kiss – been tempted to give out a few of them myself sometimes – lovely work Nettie. Took me right back!

    • Annette
      Aug 14, 2012

      Mwah – not a Glasgow kiss, but a kiss from a Weegie ~;0)

  12. Yaaaay – a Glasgow Kiss – been tempted to give out a few of them myself sometimes – lovely work Nettie. Took me right back!

    • Annette
      Aug 14, 2012

      Mwah – not a Glasgow kiss, but a kiss from a Weegie ~;0)

  13. Carol
    Aug 3, 2012

    Hehehehe! Brilliant!

    • Annette
      Aug 14, 2012

      ~:0)
      Thanks, Carol. And I’m still loving your drawing x

  14. Carol
    Aug 3, 2012

    Hehehehe! Brilliant!

    • Annette
      Aug 14, 2012

      ~:0)
      Thanks, Carol. And I’m still loving your drawing x

  15. That was a good one Nettie.

  16. That was a good one Nettie.

  17. John Wiswell
    Aug 3, 2012

    Anyone who tries to whisper in your ear that quick has no style whatsoever!

    • Annette
      Aug 14, 2012

      Have you been to Glasgow…?
      ~;0)
      Thanks for stopping by x

  18. John Wiswell
    Aug 3, 2012

    Anyone who tries to whisper in your ear that quick has no style whatsoever!

    • Annette
      Aug 14, 2012

      Have you been to Glasgow…?
      ~;0)
      Thanks for stopping by x

  19. Emma
    Aug 3, 2012

    Ha ha! Love it!!

  20. Emma
    Aug 3, 2012

    Ha ha! Love it!!

  21. Larry Kollar
    Aug 4, 2012

    That was mean, but I still laughed! Nice setup.

  22. Larry Kollar
    Aug 4, 2012

    That was mean, but I still laughed! Nice setup.

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