The Chiropodist is on first base. Mum’s still in the dressing room…

Mum visits the chiropodist in Oldmeldrum every 2 or 3 weeks. She has visited this chiropodist for around 5 years.

 

chirop heartMum: I got my chiropodist appointment through. It’s for a Wednesday.

Me: Which Wednesday, Mum? Tomorrow?

Mum: No, next week. The 11th. Oh, and I’ve to get my heart thing at the same place.

Me: The chiropodist is doing your heart thing?

Mum: No! It’s at the same place. In Inverurie.

Me: The chiropodist isn’t in Inverurie. It’s in Oldmeldrum.

Mum: Uh-huh. That’s right. The heart thing is in Inverurie. Beside the chiropodist. In the hospital.

Me: Erm… there isn’t a hospital in Oldmeldrum. The chiropodist is in Oldmeldrum, the hospital is in Inverurie.

Mum: Well…is it Inveraray then?

Me: No that’s in Argyllshire.

Mum: Where are we now?

Me: In Inverurie.

Mum: That’s right, Inverurie. I get my heart thing in Inverurie.

Me. OK, so the chiropodist is in Oldmeldrum and the heart thing is in Inverurie?

Mum: Yes.

30 seconds of silence.

Mum: But the chiropodist is in the hospital in Inverurie where I get my heart thing, isn’t it.

Me: NOOOOOOOOO! THE CHIROPODIST IS IN OLDMELDRUM AND THE HOSPITAL WHERE YOU GET THE HEART THING IS IN INVERURIE!

Mum: Och, see me? I’m a silly woman.

Me: *adds booze to the Tesco list*

The social media thingamybobs:

12 Comments

  1. Margot Kinberg
    Sep 3, 2013

    Nettie – Oh, this is just too much. Yes, I can definitely see some potent potables going on your next Tesco list. Yikes!! I’ll be interested to hear how those appointments go…

  2. Margot Kinberg
    Sep 3, 2013

    Nettie – Oh, this is just too much. Yes, I can definitely see some potent potables going on your next Tesco list. Yikes!! I’ll be interested to hear how those appointments go…

  3. Ailsa Abraham
    Sep 3, 2013

    Oh my word! I love your mum but you really are up for sainthood shortly, Nettie.

  4. Ailsa Abraham
    Sep 3, 2013

    Oh my word! I love your mum but you really are up for sainthood shortly, Nettie.

  5. Gill Fraser Lee
    Sep 4, 2013

    Oh bless her heart! Or should that be her feet …?!? x

  6. Gill Fraser Lee
    Sep 4, 2013

    Oh bless her heart! Or should that be her feet …?!? x

  7. Angela Barton
    Sep 6, 2013

    You and your mum should have a little mini series on tv. Real life comedy is so much better than made up jokes. Hope the appointment went well! Where did you say the hospital was again…..?

  8. Angela Barton
    Sep 6, 2013

    You and your mum should have a little mini series on tv. Real life comedy is so much better than made up jokes. Hope the appointment went well! Where did you say the hospital was again…..?

  9. joskehan
    Sep 26, 2013

    So did you get to keep both appointments?

  10. joskehan
    Sep 26, 2013

    So did you get to keep both appointments?

  11. Di Horsfield
    Oct 31, 2013

    I have very similar conversations with my dad. I hope you managed to get to both appointments regardless of where they were!

  12. Di Horsfield
    Oct 31, 2013

    I have very similar conversations with my dad. I hope you managed to get to both appointments regardless of where they were!

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