Hats, they make you deaf, you know.

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Me: Mum, can you pass me the prescription?

Mum: …

Me: Mum, please, pass me the prescription?

Mum: …

Me: MUM!

Mum: What? Were you speaking to me? I’m wearing a hat.

Me: …

*****

Mum: What are you looking for? Gingerbread?

Me: I don’t eat gingerbread. Haven’t had that for years.

Mum: Och, you do. That Jamaican stuff.

Me: Really, I never.. wait, do you mean Soreen?

Mum: That’s it!

*****

Mum: I’ll have to get yours and George’s birthday cards.

Me: Oh, you’ve got plenty of time. It’s not til March.

Mum: That’s right, we’ve got to get past Vampire’s day first.

Me: Yes, Mum, love sucks.

*****

Mum: What was wrong with that woman on the till? Why did we have to move?

Me: Her till wasn’t working properly.

Mum: She might have told us.

Me: She did!

Mum: Did she? Oh, see this hat!

Me: Mum, you weren’t wearing your hat in Tesco.

Mum: No, neither I was.

Me: …
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16 Comments

  1. Abi Burlingham
    Jan 24, 2012

    Hahahaha! Hilarious! Please tell me this didn’t happen in one day… Oh, but I bet it did!

    • nettiewriter
      Jan 24, 2012

      It all happened today in the less than 2 hours I was out with her.

  2. Abi Burlingham
    Jan 24, 2012

    Hahahaha! Hilarious! Please tell me this didn’t happen in one day… Oh, but I bet it did!

    • nettiewriter
      Jan 24, 2012

      It all happened today in the less than 2 hours I was out with her.

  3. Glynis Smy
    Jan 24, 2012

    Adorable. You really should write a little book of Mum quotes! So funny.

  4. Glynis Smy
    Jan 24, 2012

    Adorable. You really should write a little book of Mum quotes! So funny.

  5. Was your mum this amusing when you were a teenager? I know she must frustrate you many times but she sounds like such a dear!

    • nettiewriter
      Jan 24, 2012

      She was a smothering, obsessed, superstitious, molly-coddling nightmare when I was younger. It’s much better now!

  6. Was your mum this amusing when you were a teenager? I know she must frustrate you many times but she sounds like such a dear!

    • nettiewriter
      Jan 24, 2012

      She was a smothering, obsessed, superstitious, molly-coddling nightmare when I was younger. It’s much better now!

  7. writenowmom
    Jan 24, 2012

    Ha! You absolutely HAVE to put all of these into a book one day! If that happened in two hours, what must happen during the course of a day? x

  8. writenowmom
    Jan 24, 2012

    Ha! You absolutely HAVE to put all of these into a book one day! If that happened in two hours, what must happen during the course of a day? x

  9. Kyra Lennon
    Jan 24, 2012

    LOL, Vampire’s Day, I love it!

    I agree with everyone else, a book of these quotes would make excellent reading πŸ˜€

  10. Kyra Lennon
    Jan 24, 2012

    LOL, Vampire’s Day, I love it!

    I agree with everyone else, a book of these quotes would make excellent reading πŸ˜€

  11. Sarah Callejo
    Jan 25, 2012

    Can you really keep a straight face during your time with your mum? I can’t stop laughing while I read these.

  12. Sarah Callejo
    Jan 25, 2012

    Can you really keep a straight face during your time with your mum? I can’t stop laughing while I read these.

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