Me: Your granddaughter is going to parliament to watch a debating competition.

Mum: Where?

Me: Parliament.

Mum: London? (smiling)

Me: No, Edinburgh.

Mum: (frowns) Ah widnae go to Edinburgh just now.

Me: Why not?

Mum: ‘Cos of that Legionnaires disease.

Me: It’s not catching…

Mum: (raises eyebrows)

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