We walked along the pet food aisle in Tesco and got to the end when we had this conversation.

Mum: They don’t have that stuff for my bird.

Me: What stuff?

Mum: Millet.

Me: They don’t sell millet here. Do you mean Trill?*

Mum: No. Millet. Millet.

Me: From here?

Mum: Yes. Millet. For my bird. For Boris**

Me: Mum, they have never sold millet in Tesco. Do you mean Trill?

Mum: Are you sure? I got it here before.

Me: Mum, do you mean Trill? Bird seed in a box?

Mum: Yes. That’s it.

Me: *rrrrip* (that’s me tearing my hair out)

*other bird seed brands are available.

** she calls him Boris cos he’s blue (Tory party colour) after Boris Johnston

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