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We were wandering through the Homeware section of Tesco when we came across some ornaments in the form of chess pieces.

Mum: That’s nice. What is it?

Me: A queen.

Mum: A queen? (she picks it up) A QUEEN?

Me: Yes, mum, it’s a chess piece.

Mum: Oh, right. What do you do with it? It’s a bit big to play with.

Me: It’s just for decoration.

Mum: That’s lovely. What’s this?

Me: It’s a king.

Mum: ….

Me: Just an ornament.

Mum: That’s lovely. I need deoderant.

Me: Fine, what kind do you want.

Mum: Och, the kind I like.

Me: Which is…?

Mum: I don’t know. I’ll recognise it when I see it.

Me: Can you make out what’s on the shelves there?

Mum: No, no really.

Me: (grabbing one from shelf) Try this one. You liked it before.

Mum: Did I?

Me: Yes. (crosses fingers behind back)
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