Me: What’s that noise?
Mum: It’s just the trough falling out the car.
Me: The what now?
Mum: The trough.
Me: The trough? There’s no trough in the car.
Me: Trow? Do you mean trowel? Continue reading “I’ll pay for it.”
Even before I left, I knew doing the Christmas shopping with my mum wasn’t a good idea. I was proven right.
First, we went to Lidl.
“Oh. That’s nice. What’s that?”
“A calligraphy set.”
“A fancy pen.” Continue reading “Merry Christmas, Mum”
Me: Did you like the Olympic opening ceremony?
Mum: I’m undecided.
Me: Really? Why’s that?
Mum: I thought it was awfully…drab. And it spent too long dwelling on the war. I lived through it, you know.
Me: But the war was only a remembrance of those who died and it didn’t last long at all.
Mum: But it was depressing and drab. I liked the fireworks though. And the bluebirds on bikes.
Me: But not the rest?
Mum: Nah, drab.
We are wandering around Tesco with mum’s list.
Mum: I want Rice Crispies and Cornflakes. (we are in the washing detergent aisle)
Me: I’ll remember when we get there, mum.
Mum: I want Rice Crispies and Cornflakes. (we are in the bread aisle)
Me: I know, mum.
Mum: I want Rice Crispies and Cornflakes. (we are in the pasta and rice aisle)
Me: I won’t forget, mum. It’s fine. Look, here we are now. Right, you want Rice Crispies and Cornflakes?
Mum: I want sweeties. Do you want sweeties?