Posted in Conversations With Mum

I’ll pay for it.

ImageMe: What’s that noise?
Mum: It’s just the trough falling out the car.
Me: The what now?
Mum: The trough.
Me: The trough? There’s no trough in the car.
Mum: The…trow.
Me: Trow? Do you mean trowel? Continue reading “I’ll pay for it.”

Posted in Conversations With Mum

Merry Christmas, Mum

Even before I left, I knew doing the Christmas shopping with my mum wasn’t a good idea. I was proven right.

First, we went to Lidl.

“What’s that?”

“A jigsaw.”

“Oh. That’s nice. What’s that?”

“A calligraphy set.”

“….”

“A fancy pen.” Continue reading “Merry Christmas, Mum”

Posted in Conversations With Mum

I thought it was drab.

 

Me: Did you like the Olympic opening ceremony?

Mum: I’m undecided.

Me: Really? Why’s that?

Mum: I thought it was awfully…drab. And it spent too long dwelling on the war. I lived through it, you know.

Me: But the war was only a remembrance of those who died and it didn’t last long at all.

Mum: But it was depressing and drab. I liked the fireworks though. And the bluebirds on bikes.

Me: But not the rest?

Mum: Nah, drab.

Me: …

*****

We are wandering around Tesco with mum’s list.

Mum: I want Rice Crispies and Cornflakes. (we are in the washing detergent aisle)

Me: I’ll remember when we get there, mum.

Mum: I want Rice Crispies and Cornflakes. (we are in the bread aisle)

Me: I know, mum.

Mum: I want Rice Crispies and Cornflakes. (we are in the pasta and rice aisle)

Me: I won’t forget, mum. It’s fine. Look, here we are now. Right, you want Rice Crispies and Cornflakes?

Mum: I want sweeties. Do you want sweeties?

Me: …