Posted in Blog Posts, Conversations With Mum

Bye Bye, Mum.

My mum passed on to whatever is next on the 12th of December. I didn’t make it to her in time as I had to take several stops on the journey because I was so tired and my hands in so much pain. I missed her by less than an hour. Continue reading “Bye Bye, Mum.”

Posted in Conversations With Mum

The Chiropodist is on first base. Mum’s still in the dressing room…

Mum visits the chiropodist in Oldmeldrum every 2 or 3 weeks. She has visited this chiropodist for around 5 years.

 

chirop heartMum: I got my chiropodist appointment through. It’s for a Wednesday.

Me: Which Wednesday, Mum? Tomorrow?

Mum: No, next week. The 11th. Oh, and I’ve to get my heart thing at the same place.

Me: The chiropodist is doing your heart thing?

Mum: No! It’s at the same place. In Inverurie.

Me: The chiropodist isn’t in Inverurie. It’s in Oldmeldrum.

Mum: Uh-huh. That’s right. The heart thing is in Inverurie. Beside the chiropodist. In the hospital.

Me: Erm… there isn’t a hospital in Oldmeldrum. The chiropodist is in Oldmeldrum, the hospital is in Inverurie.

Mum: Well…is it Inveraray then?

Me: No that’s in Argyllshire.

Mum: Where are we now?

Me: In Inverurie.

Mum: That’s right, Inverurie. I get my heart thing in Inverurie.

Me. OK, so the chiropodist is in Oldmeldrum and the heart thing is in Inverurie?

Mum: Yes.

30 seconds of silence.

Mum: But the chiropodist is in the hospital in Inverurie where I get my heart thing, isn’t it.

Me: NOOOOOOOOO! THE CHIROPODIST IS IN OLDMELDRUM AND THE HOSPITAL WHERE YOU GET THE HEART THING IS IN INVERURIE!

Mum: Och, see me? I’m a silly woman.

Me: *adds booze to the Tesco list*

Posted in Conversations With Mum

Luther

In the car, taking mum to Tesco (where else?) and running out of things to tell her. She watches a LOT of TV, so…

Me: Did you watch Luther last night?

Mum: What?

Me: Luther.

Mum: What?

Me: (louder) Luther.

Mum: What?

Me: (louder) Luther.

Mum: Flipper? No, I didn’t see Flipper was it-

Me: (screams) LUTHER!

Mum: Oh, Luther!

Me: Did you see it?

Mum: No.

LutherFlip