It’s a lovely day today, isn’t it? Not exactly hot, but mild and the seaside smell has permeated the whole house. I left to go to Campbeltown to pick up my prescriptions and get some shopping in. We parked and while George headed to Boots for me, I went to The Factory Shop to see if they had any baking tins. I had a lovely time, wandering the aisles, laughing at the tat and admiring the odd gem.
George reappeared to tell me my prescription wasn’t in. Puzzled, I called the Doctor using my mobile. I spoke to a very pleasant woman who told me, in no uncertain terms, that I had been removed from the practice. ‘That’s not right,’ I said. ‘I saw a doctor only a few weeks ago. I have blood tests booked for tomorrow. My mammogram is tomorrow too. There must be some mistake! ‘The receptionist promised to look into it and said she would phone me back but until I was active on her system, she couldn’t issue any prescriptions.
I was fuming. What had happened? Was it some sort of odd identity theft? Had someone stolen my name to obtain drugs at another surgery? Had I upset anyone? Why would my surgery, the only surgery for MILES, take me off their books. George and I decided to go to the Doctors’ Centre in person to try to find out what was going on.
Again, I spoke to a lovely receptionist who was puzzled when I told her the story as when she checked, I was there and active. The reason my prescription wasn’t at Boots was because it wasn’t yet on repeat and had to be reviewed by my doctor, but that it would be done within the next day or two. I couldn’t be angry with this woman as she had been nothing but helpful, but I smelled a rat and was sure they had just added me back on and not told me about it.
As I headed out to the car, my phone rang. It was the first receptionist I had spoken to. ‘We got a request to remove you from our list in June last year and you haven’t been active since then.’
‘That’s rubbish!’ My dander was rising and I was getting totally pissed off that no one would believe me. I had visions of Men In Black and Black Ops people wiping me from all electronic systems. Was it because I was a socialist? Feminist? Scottish?
‘You’re wrong! You’ve made a horrendous cock-up. You got the request to add me to your list in June last year, that’s when I moved here.’
‘No, we got a request to remove you. And you haven’t used our services all year. You can’t if you’re not registered here.’
Perhaps it’s like Dallas, I thought. It’s all been a dream; the house move, health problems, my mum. Maybe I was in a coma somewhere and they were trying to wake me up.
‘That’s total utter nonsense!’ I was getting louder as I got angrier. ‘I saw Doctor Ward only a few weeks ago.’
There was a hesitation on the other end of the phone. ‘We don’t have a Doctor Ward.’
‘Yes, you do! I s…. oh.’ I Paused. ‘I think I’ve called the wrong surgery. Very sorry. Oops!’
I could taste the spit down the line as the poor girl said, ‘FINE!’ and slammed down her phone. I’d only gone and called my mum’s doc instead of mine!
If anyone needs me for the rest of today I’ll be in a darkened room, holding my sides and trying to stop laughing.