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I imagine that most of you reading this will know me on twitter as @NettieWriter and some of you will have given me a #FollowFriday or #WriterWednesday recommendation. I always appreciate these, even though I may not personally reply to each one. Many of my shout-outs tell others how ‘really nice’ I am and I constantly feel a fraud and a charlatan when I am so recommended.

We tend only to show our good sides to others online and while I am sure that not everyone who comes across as sweet and caring on twitter is the angel they appear, I should set the matter straight for my own dishonesty. Here are the top ten reasons I am not really nice.

  1. I shout. A lot. I get very frustrated with myself always being sore, tired and foggy and often take it out on those around me. I don’t mean to, but before I can stop myself I can hear the harridan inside screaming at my family.
  2. I give my mother dog’s abuse. Yes, I have my reasons for being so frustrated with her and giving her such a hard time, but she is old now and really knows no better. I should be a better person about it but I am frequently not.
  3. I am greedy. I can quite happily sit and eat two bags of crisps in a row. I often do it from boredom, often for comfort, rarely because I’m just hungry.
  4. I have shoplifted in the past. OK, I didn’t mean to, but… It was a Christmastime several years ago. I went into a well-known High Street shop to do my shopping. I was laden with a basket filled with Christmas goodies and had to carry a gift set (with a handy ribbon handle) in my other hand. The hand that was hidden by the coat I carried over my arm – shopping malls are awfully warm places, aren’t they? I went to the cashier, had a conversation about how sad it was that people would steal from shops and that something should be done about it, paid for my goods and left. It wasn’t until I was leaving the shopping centre that I noticed the unpaid for gift set in my hand. By this time I was too nervous and embarrassed to go back with it – would they believe it had all been a mistake? I doubt I would – so I went back to the car as quickly as I could. I gave the gift to its intended recipient and feel guilty about it still.
  5. If a salesperson makes a mistake in my change in my favour, I don’t always return it. If it’s pounds and pounds, it gets handed back. If it’s a smaller amount and a small, independent retailer, it gets handed back. But if it’s a high street store and not too much….
  6. We all get cut up on the roads. Driving in the north east of Scotland is frequently a nightmare. I have never encountered such bad driving elsewhere in the UK. But does that excuse me for shouting at the offending driver that I hope his car blows up? I thought not.
  7. I have had ‘friends’ in the past who demanded a lot of my time. They constantly moaned about their lot in life, even though they were the author of their own misery. One spent like a sailor yet complained how unfair it all was. Every other facebook post was about wanting to win the lottery. Eventually I decided ‘Enough’ and cut her loose. I tried to explain to her how I felt, how draining her behaviour was to me – she had no family and didn’t seem to understand that mine had to come before patting her back – again – but to no avail. So, I had to be blunt and tell her I didn’t want to hear from her again. She kept coming back, wheedling away until telling her to bugger off was the only thing left to do. I always have time for friends in trouble, friends who know they can rely on me when things are bad. But this woman was dragging me down and I was getting ill over her constant demands. She kept on taking and never gave any emotional support to me. Still, I wasn’t very nice to her.
  8. When cutting a cake at home, I sometimes keep the largest portion for myself. Perhaps this should be included as another example of my greed?
  9. There are a few Big Issue sellers in our local small town but I never buy from the one who smokes and looks like he likes a good drink. Surely charity shouldn’t be selective?
  10. 10.  I edited this list to leave out the really horrid bits: kitty-kicking, baby-bashing, etc.

So, now you know the awful truth, do you still think I’m that ‘really lovely’ person on twitter?
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