There doesn’t seem to have been any improvement regarding mum. I am trying my best to stand back, but I find it terribly difficult. Yes, the stress of dealing with her makes me ill, but she’s still my mum.
Anyway, after withdrawing for a while I called her on Friday. She told me her ear was still sore and bleeding so I suggested she call the doctor. She promised she would and that she’d call me back as soon as he had left. I heard nothing from her all weekend but reckoned that if anything major was wrong, her carers or the sheltered housing warden would call me to let me know.
Yesterday, I gave in and called her. I got so many conflicting stories: that the doctor came and wanted her to take something but she didn’t have whatever it was that was prescribed. But there was nothing wrong with her mouth. Her mouth? Wasn’t it her ear? Yes, of course it was her ear. She never mentioned anything about her mouth. And she had been calling me all weekend. She either has been calling someone else or is just confused or lying because she forgot and was trying to hide the fact.
As you can imagine, as well as being confused and stressed out, I am furious that an 84 year old woman can be prescribed medication on Friday and still not have it by Sunday. Last night I wrote a testy email to her care manager saying that if anything detrimental to mum’s wellbeing was to occur, I would hold them and NHS Grampian responsible. I’ve had no reply.
I called mum again this afternoon. She still has received nothing from the pharmacy and now thinks she might have been confused and got it wrong. So I called the warden. She said that mum has a bloody dressing on her ear and that she expected the nurses would be back out to change it today, but she knows nothing about any prescription. She also said mum was very confused this morning, telling her I was up to visit her at the weekend.
Despite my own illnessI am going to have to make the effort to go and see her next week and have a face-to-face with her care team. It seems beyond them to use a conference call or a Skype call to get things organised. I’ll manage the trip, but I’ll be really ill for a while afterwards.
But she’s coping fine on her own and still able to make her own decisions. Oh, and enjoy her independence. I could weep.