I Was So Nearly Ready For My Close Up

[tweetmeme source=”nettiewriter” http://www.URL.com]

As you all know, I am no stranger to the small screen. You may have already read about my humiliation on Catchword, but I have also played euphonium in a church at Easter (my school band provided the music for Songs of Praise), I have been interviewed as a vox pop about winter school closures and hid from a camera at the hustings when the SDP won its first seat at Hillhead in Glasgow (my friend and I ran into a cobblers). I have also been interviewed on Yugoslavian radio but I bet you never knew I was nearly in a Steven Spielberg film.

I had gone down to Manchester for a Structured Systems Analysis and Design course. I was there for a fortnight and while most people went home for the middle weekend, I decided to stay to sample the delights of Cheshire’s biggest city. At that time Granada TV studios were open for guided tours. I’d already been round Universal Studios in Los Angeles, so this seemed like a natural progression.

I can’t for the life of me remember what was going on that weekend – Children In Need or some such – but there was quite a commotion at the end of Coronation Street. It turned out that Steven Spielberg was participating in some sort of charity challenge where he was trying to make a movie in three days. They were shooting a scene involving smoke, explosions, soldiers and refugees running down a street. I watched the proceedings for a while from behind a very official looking rope. Then came the call: would anyone watching like to be in a Steven Spielberg movie?

Would I?

With a mixture of nerves and excitement I ducked under the rope and went over to the lady with the clipboard who was saying “dahling” or “don’t call us, we’ll call you” to each of the volunteers. When it came to my turn she looked me up and down. I was wearing a black knitted jacket with a touch of white through it, flat shoes and white shorts. Well, it was the 80s. With her pen hovering over the clipboard she said, “You’re fine from the waist up, but we’d have to dirty your bottom half. Would that be OK?”

Let me see: I can walk about Manchester for the rest of the day with slightly grubby shorts or I can be in a Spielberg movie? It’s a no-brainer, right?

And that, dear reader, is why I said no.

The line to kick me in the arse starts at the right. No pushing.

[tweetmeme source=”nettiewriter” http://www.URL.com]

The social media thingamybobs:

32 Comments

  1. Jane Lovering
    Apr 23, 2011

    You refused to get down and dirty for Stephen Speilberg? Gosh. Never mind, I’m sure the call will come again…

  2. Jane Lovering
    Apr 23, 2011

    You refused to get down and dirty for Stephen Speilberg? Gosh. Never mind, I’m sure the call will come again…

  3. Marisa Birns
    Apr 23, 2011

    I have no words. Sigh.

  4. Marisa Birns
    Apr 23, 2011

    I have no words. Sigh.

  5. Jane Travers
    Apr 23, 2011

    Consider your arse well and truly kicked!

  6. Jane Travers
    Apr 23, 2011

    Consider your arse well and truly kicked!

  7. Ann Patey
    Apr 23, 2011

    There’s a lesson there…..

    Nice post 🙂

    • nettiewriter
      Apr 23, 2011

      … the lesson being never wear white shorts…? lol Thank you, Ann.

  8. Ann Patey
    Apr 23, 2011

    There’s a lesson there…..

    Nice post 🙂

    • nettiewriter
      Apr 23, 2011

      … the lesson being never wear white shorts…? lol Thank you, Ann.

  9. Gill Fraser Lee
    Apr 23, 2011

    Oh what are you like?!? Fangirl-fame-junkie that I am, I sigh deeply at your folly. You will say yes next time, won’t you?

  10. Gill Fraser Lee
    Apr 23, 2011

    Oh what are you like?!? Fangirl-fame-junkie that I am, I sigh deeply at your folly. You will say yes next time, won’t you?

  11. Deborah Rickard
    Apr 24, 2011

    I’m awed to be in the twitterpresence of someone who turned down a part in a SS movie – and with such an impressive small screen roll-call. Love your dry wit!

    • nettiewriter
      Apr 24, 2011

      Oh, nonsense. I’m an idiot! Still, makes a good story for the grand kids 🙁

  12. Deborah Rickard
    Apr 24, 2011

    I’m awed to be in the twitterpresence of someone who turned down a part in a SS movie – and with such an impressive small screen roll-call. Love your dry wit!

    • nettiewriter
      Apr 24, 2011

      Oh, nonsense. I’m an idiot! Still, makes a good story for the grand kids 🙁

  13. Martha
    Jun 28, 2011

    No! I only just saw this… honestly… Spielberg?
    (This from the woman who leaped up and down in a London pub before baffled cameramen, shrieking, ‘Film me! Film me!’ (like Donkey in the Shrek DVD menu) only to then appear in a docu about ‘women who drink too much’. Hmmm. I couldn’t really complain…

  14. Martha
    Jun 28, 2011

    No! I only just saw this… honestly… Spielberg?
    (This from the woman who leaped up and down in a London pub before baffled cameramen, shrieking, ‘Film me! Film me!’ (like Donkey in the Shrek DVD menu) only to then appear in a docu about ‘women who drink too much’. Hmmm. I couldn’t really complain…

  15. Bunny
    Aug 23, 2013

    No, you made the right choice. Being in a movie usually means waiting around for hours and then getting cut out in editing. Big whoop.

  16. Bunny
    Aug 23, 2013

    No, you made the right choice. Being in a movie usually means waiting around for hours and then getting cut out in editing. Big whoop.

Leave a Reply

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This