Hello, I must be going…

 

Mach Beach 2

 

In less than a week we leave Aberdeenshire for our new life in Argyll. I have mixed feelings.

I’ve wanted to live by the seaside for as long as I can remember. I spent most summers in Campbeltown with my parents, visiting my dad’s sister. Mum hated it. She always wanted to go to Blackpool, but dad and I loved getting away from the city and down to the beach and the harbour. Dad taught me to fish off the pier there. I’d go out in the morning, bucket, spade and fishing net and spend hours playing on the beach, exploring rock pools and gathering shells, only returning to the caravan when I was hungry. It was idyllic and I am honestly excited to go back down that way.

I am hoping that the sea, which to this day soothes my soul, will reignite the creativity which has been sadly absent from my life for too long. I am looking forward to long walks along the five miles of unspoilt beaches with the poodles, to joining the active local writers’ group, to learning guitar and trying to paint and to taking more and better photographs.

But…

I love my house here. I love the space, the light, the garden, the way the french doors open up to let me sit and listen to the birds and the stream behind the fence. My daughter was brought up here. On the edge of her bedroom door her dad recorded her height as she grew, a bar code of milestones and memories. “Home is where the people who matter are,” he tells me. “Our memories will come with us.” And he’s 100% right. But what if my memories are so ingrained on the bricks and the plaster and the glass and the concrete that when I leave it all behind, they don’t come with me? Do they need a box? Are my head and my heart big enough to hold them all?

My daughter left today to spend a couple of weeks in Boston with my dear friend Sandy. She will never come back to this house and that made me very, very sad.

Next week it will be my turn to leave here for the last time. I’ll let you know how it goes.

 

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7 Comments

  1. Margot Kinberg
    Jun 5, 2014

    Wishing you well with your major life change, Nettie. I really do hope you’ll let us know how it goes.

  2. Marisa
    Jun 5, 2014

    I agree with your husband. You don’t have to be afraid that you’ll be leaving your house and memories behind. The important ones will always be in your heart, which is made of such stretchy substance that everything will always fit.

    The walks, the writers’ group, the sea air…all sounds so wonderful, Annette. I’m sure you’ll be happy there.

    Best of luck with the move!

  3. Jacqueline Pye
    Jun 6, 2014

    Still, such a lot to look forward to, as well as to look back to. You could write up an ‘ode to this house’ before you go, maybe visiting each room thoughtfully and writing a small piece about what happened there, what you felt and what you did, and filing it with a photo. Then emotionally you could wean yourself away gradually once you’ve physically moved. (That’s what I’ll do when I move from my house of already 37 years, which I love dearly.) However it goes, here’s to a successful, trouble-free move and many more happy times ready to be stored in the memory.

  4. Abi Burlingham
    Jun 6, 2014

    I have a little notepad in my car. On the front it says ~ ‘Faith is the daring of the soul to go farther than it can see’. That’s what you’ve done, Nettie. It will all be good xx

  5. Di Horsfield
    Jun 6, 2014

    wishing you peace, happiness and creativity in your new home. It will be hard, but you’ll settle quickly once you get all your bits and bobs out of their boxes. Your books, ornaments and pictures will hold your memories and allow you to smile when you see them.
    Much love

  6. Susan Wright-Boucher
    Jun 8, 2014

    I’m sure your memories will travel with you, but, just in case… Perhaps you can make a memory wall of your favourite photos — especially the doorway you mentioned with the growth marks. Or take a hallway and line it with shots of your previous family home. Then you and everyone else can continue to enjoy the years you spent there.

  7. Angela Barton
    Jun 8, 2014

    You’re taking your most special gifts with you, Nettie – your family. I do understand how sad you’ll feel, but a whole new adventure is waiting for you just around the corner. You love the sea and now your dream is coming true – you’re going to live beside it. Courage mon brave – it will all work out fine. Warmest wishes and big hugs during your sad moments.
    Ange xx

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