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I dyed my hair this morning and it didn’t go quite as I had hoped. The colour ended up darker and redder than I anticipated. Where I actually got it on the hair. I look, according to my darling daughter, like a badger.

I am incredibly vain about my hair. It is, really, my only vanity. Well, that and handbags – are handbags a vanity or an obsession? Either way, a bad haircut is enough to send me into a fit of despair that will last until it either grows out or I take the scissors to it myself.

One of my pet hates is asking for a bob and it being cut higher at one side than the other. What is wrong with hairdressers who do that? Do they have a problem keeping their head straight on their neck? If they can’t tell straight from ‘up and down like Gourock’*, they should invest in a spirit level, a spirit guide or a new career. If a hairdresser I have previously trusted gets it wrong twice in a row, they are my ex-hairdresser. And if a new hairdresser gets it wrong, I don’t go back.

And what’s with fringes that come down over your eyes so you can’t see? And coon tails? And Jedward?

Anyway, in a remarkable display of LACK of vanity, here is my stripy hair. Enjoy.

*I have no idea where this saying originates but it was one used all the time in our house when I was a child. I blame my mother.
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