I is for Insults

patterNo body does an insult like a Weegie. and to prove my point, try using the examples below next time you want to cut someone down a peg or two.

WARNING: the following contains sweary words.

Away n bile yer heid.  Go and boil your head.

Ya big balloon.  You large, pompous oaf.

Ya bampot.  You are an idiot.

Ya doolally basstard.  You are a bewildered soul of uncertain parentage.

Yiv goat a face like a skelped erse.  You have a face like a slapped bottom.

Yir feet ur puir bowfin n they gie me the boak.  Your feet smell and make me feel sick.

Yiv a face like a camel eatin’ sherbet.  Your face looks like a camel partaking of something sour.

Yiv goat a face like a dug lickin’ pish aff a nettle.  Your face resembles that of a dog licking it’s own urine from a stinging weed.

And to hear these insults as they should be spoken…

 

 

The social media thingamybobs:

14 Comments

  1. Mandy
    Apr 10, 2013

    Love it, Nettles! You have a ovely voice too. 🙂 X

  2. Mandy
    Apr 10, 2013

    Love it, Nettles! You have a ovely voice too. 🙂 X

  3. Nancy Jardine
    Apr 10, 2013

    Pure dead brilliant, Nettie! (exclaimed in a loud voice with glottal stops on your name) I knew them all apart from the ‘bowfin’though I understood the meaning (Maybe an eastender one that never went west for me?) Nancy at Welcome to she said, he said

  4. Nancy Jardine
    Apr 10, 2013

    Pure dead brilliant, Nettie! (exclaimed in a loud voice with glottal stops on your name) I knew them all apart from the ‘bowfin’though I understood the meaning (Maybe an eastender one that never went west for me?) Nancy at Welcome to she said, he said

  5. Carol
    Apr 10, 2013

    Hahahahaha!! LOVE it!! (and lovely your hear your voice too!)

    C x

  6. Carol
    Apr 10, 2013

    Hahahahaha!! LOVE it!! (and lovely your hear your voice too!)

    C x

  7. chicaderock
    Apr 10, 2013

    Love it hehehe!

  8. chicaderock
    Apr 10, 2013

    Love it hehehe!

  9. Margot Kinberg
    Apr 10, 2013

    These are absolutely marvellous, Nettie! They are so clever and expressive! And extra credit for adding the audio!

  10. Margot Kinberg
    Apr 10, 2013

    These are absolutely marvellous, Nettie! They are so clever and expressive! And extra credit for adding the audio!

  11. Mr Uku
    Apr 10, 2013

    This reminds me of “How to speak Scotch” from Absolutely.
    “Oooooooo it cannae beeeee!”
    “Oh, it cannot be.”
    “Ooooooooo it willnae beeeee!”
    Etc…

  12. Mr Uku
    Apr 10, 2013

    This reminds me of “How to speak Scotch” from Absolutely.
    “Oooooooo it cannae beeeee!”
    “Oh, it cannot be.”
    “Ooooooooo it willnae beeeee!”
    Etc…

  13. J Lenni Dorner
    Apr 13, 2013

    Stopping by from the #atozchallenge !
    @JLenniDorner

    Ha ha. Fun post.

  14. J Lenni Dorner
    Apr 13, 2013

    Stopping by from the #atozchallenge !
    @JLenniDorner

    Ha ha. Fun post.

Leave a Reply

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This