F is for Football
In Glasgow, football isn’t a game. It’s a war, a religious war built on bigotry and ignorance.
If you support Celtic you are a catholic, a Tim, a Tim cat, kick with the left foot, a papist bastard.
If you support Rangers you are a Protestant, a proddy, a proddy dog, kick with the right foot, a blue nose bastard.
Either way, on days when there is an Old Firm game, domestic abuse increases by between 70 and 100%.
In Rangers pubs there are framed photos of the King Billy astride his horse and the green baize on the pool tables is replaced by blue. In Celtic pubs you may find tricolors, shamrocks and copious references to Ireland.
It’s all a pile of steaming, foul smelling hooey and makes me ashamed to be a Weegie.
You’re screwed no matter which of the two teams you support. But of you support the jags (Partick Thistle) then you really have problems…