Posted in Blog Posts

The Nettie Thomson Compliment Method

funny-penis-car-290x176-1Imagine the scene: your friend comes over to show you her new dress. She tries it on and asks what you think. You look at her, standing in front of the mirror like an over-stuffed viscose sausage, the yellow of the fabric making her skin look like she’s in the throes of liver failure. What do you say?

Imagine the scene: your brother comes over to show you his new car. You go out to the street to see, parked between your sensible family motor and next door’s transit, your bro has swapped his Ford Focus for the purple-ist, shiniest, penis substitute you’ve ever clapped eyes on. What do you say?

Imagine the scene: you go to visit your nan who is excited to hear your opinion on her newly decorated living room. The paper is a shade of blue not found in nature, hung upside down and sparkled with glitter that looks like Tinkerbell gave up all hope and slashed a fairy artery. Not only that, it clashes with her 1980s-pub carpet. What do you say?

Well, Dear Reader, this is where Nettie comes to the rescue. I have a tried and tested response for each of the occasions above and every other in which you have to lie through your teeth or face insulting a loved one. Not only that, but in a special offer (valid only on days ending in a Y), I am willing to give it to you for free*. Yes, that’s right free. At no cost to yourself, I am willing to share my special response that will work not only on the above scenarios, but in virtually every other you can think of.

Are you ready? Prepared to have your mind blown? Here it is:

“What a difference!”

Try it out:

“Do you like my dress?”

“I liked your other dress but, wow! What a difference!”

“What do you think of my new motor?”

What a difference!

“That wallpaper cost me £2 a roll, you know.”

What a difference!

“Like my new hairstyle?”

What a difference!

See where I’m going here? Say it in a positive, excited voice and no one will ever know what you REALLY think of their abysmal taste. Consider this an early Christmas present, from me to you. Wait! Is that a new pair of glasses you’re wearing? Wow! What a difference!

*free, but a blog follow is always appreciated.


Writer, photographer, creative fantasist.

One thought on “The Nettie Thomson Compliment Method

  1. Oh, my, Nettie! That car…… I do like your response. Truthful, but tactful, and gets you out of any number of potentially awful rifts with people.

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