Posted in A to Z

I is for Insults

patterNo body does an insult like a Weegie. and to prove my point, try using the examples below next time you want to cut someone down a peg or two.

WARNING: the following contains sweary words.

Away n bile yer heid.  Go and boil your head.

Ya big balloon.  You large, pompous oaf.

Ya bampot.  You are an idiot.

Ya doolally basstard.  You are a bewildered soul of uncertain parentage.

Yiv goat a face like a skelped erse.  You have a face like a slapped bottom.

Yir feet ur puir bowfin n they gie me the boak.  Your feet smell and make me feel sick.

Yiv a face like a camel eatin’ sherbet.  Your face looks like a camel partaking of something sour.

Yiv goat a face like a dug lickin’ pish aff a nettle.  Your face resembles that of a dog licking it’s own urine from a stinging weed.

And to hear these insults as they should be spoken…




Writer, photographer, creative fantasist.

7 thoughts on “I is for Insults

  1. Pure dead brilliant, Nettie! (exclaimed in a loud voice with glottal stops on your name) I knew them all apart from the ‘bowfin’though I understood the meaning (Maybe an eastender one that never went west for me?) Nancy at Welcome to she said, he said

  2. These are absolutely marvellous, Nettie! They are so clever and expressive! And extra credit for adding the audio!

  3. This reminds me of “How to speak Scotch” from Absolutely.
    “Oooooooo it cannae beeeee!”
    “Oh, it cannot be.”
    “Ooooooooo it willnae beeeee!”

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