Mum: They don’t have that stuff for my bird.
Me: What stuff?
Me: They don’t sell millet here. Do you mean Trill?*
Mum: No. Millet. Millet.
Me: From here?
Mum: Yes. Millet. For my bird. For Boris**
Me: Mum, they have never sold millet in Tesco. Do you mean Trill?
Mum: Are you sure? I got it here before.
Me: Mum, do you mean Trill? Bird seed in a box?
Mum: Yes. That’s it.
Me: *rrrrip* (that’s me tearing my hair out)
*other bird seed brands are available.
** she calls him Boris cos he’s blue (Tory party colour) after Boris Johnston