Posted in Book Reviews

The Long Glasgow Kiss by Craig Russell

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I don’t know about you, but when I’m browsing for a new book, the opening paragraph is of vital importance. If the first paragraph grabs me, I’ll buy the book. And when the first line is as good as that in Craig Russell’s The Long Glasgow Kiss, I want to take it home and feed it strawberries and chocolate.

“Some concepts are alien to the Glaswegian mind. Salad. Dentistry. Forgiveness.”

Come on, you know it doesn’t get much better than that.

Our narrator in this tale of missing persons and boxing is Lennox, a Canadian who has settled into the life of a private investigator in post-war Glasgow. And if you think the ‘violent Glasgow’ tag so often used by the media is a modern invention, you’d be wrong. Oh, so very wrong. Russell’s Glasgow is one of petty thugs, gangs based on religious affiliation, crime lords and…more thugs. Never has the label ‘tartan noir’ been so accurate.

In making Lennox Canadian, Russell has loaned his character just enough exoticness to make his smart-mouthed narration believable. This is a man who cares about whether he dons a fedora or a borselino and whether his sap ruins the line of his fine wool summer suit. I think I might love him…

It is also a very, very funny book. I found myself sniggering frequently at such bon mots as,

“They say Eskimos have a hundred words for snow. Glaswegians must have twice that many for the different kind of rain that batters down on the city…”


“A Scottish acquaintance had once tried to reassure me that tweed from the Isle of Harris was less scratchy, explaining that this was because it was traditionally soaked in human urine. I could have been accused of being picky, but I preferred couture that hadn’t been pissed on by an inbred crofter.”

I am deliberately not telling you what the book is about. Not a hint of a plotline shall pass these lips. I want you to go buy it and enjoy each twist and turn as it happens on the page. And if you don’t, I’ll set Twinkletoes on you. Trust me – that’s something you and your shoemaker don’t want to happen. Not if you want to keep dancing…

You can buy the book form Amazon, The Book Directory and Waterstone’s
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Writer, photographer, creative fantasist.

5 thoughts on “The Long Glasgow Kiss by Craig Russell

  1. You’ve done it again, Nettie – made me add a book to my reading list. This one sounds terrific. (Your own first paragraph grabbed me.) Right now I’m reading Cloud Atlas, a strange and amazing book also recommended by you.

    Thanks for the book reviews. They’re smart and entertaining in themselves, and they give me a strong sense of whether I’d like a particular book.

  2. Sounds good! Giggled at the fabric quote.

    I thought of you while reading a book by Evelyn Hood. She has many Scottish words in her work, and I love trying to get my tongue around them.

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